We’ve all played this game before. It usually ends with all of your friends saying you look nothing like Ed Burns or James Van Der Beek, right? This begets a 15 minute discussion about the size of your nose? Okay, maybe that’s just how it happens for me. But for now let’s turn our attention away from the actors and celebrities that you and your jackass friends don’t actually look anything like and focus on what could be another epic World Cup final. So epic… Read more
Holland just downed Brazil two to one, leaving the contents of the tournament co-favorite (let’s not forget about Spain) to scatter across Western Europe in returning to their home clubs. I like the Dutch and I tend to root against Brazil, but this is no Oranje flag-waving piece. I’m not of Dutch descent and I didn’t leap into TYAC writer Puck’s arms whenever the Netherlands scored, that’s reserved for clinical Landon Donovan penalty kicks to draw the Yanks… Read more
Now that I’m on the road to accepting what happened last Saturday and I’ve finally managed to crawl my way out of this empty bottle of whiskey, I guess I should go back to writing about the big worldwide soccer tournament which is apparently still taking place. Most readers of the most important blog of all time lost their biggest rooting interest when the Yanks were eliminated, or the next day when the Limey Wankers went down in TYAC writer Guy Bailey’s… Read more
Group A (written by TYAC Group A Expert Jon Levy) First off, let’s address my predictions. I had the French winning the group on goal differential and Uruguay taking second place. I will admit that despite all the signs pointing to France taking a dump (Anelka) all over the World Cup, I believed they’d get it together enough to grab a couple wins. Wrong. But South Africa was a pleasant surprise. They may have become the first host country not to… Read more
I’m so happy I don’t have to follow the most dramatic game winning goal in U.S. Soccer history with a doom and gloom, “now it’s time to lose to a soccer powerhouse” match preview! Ghana is no pushover, we all know that, but this should be a good matchup, and more importantly a matchup in which we’re not outclassed. Here’s my take on the game and what we’ve seen so far means to it: Positives: The best U.S. players have been the difference… Read more
I don’t know much about soccer or this silly little tournament that’s going on, but word is this is a pretty big match. Apparently the Yanks can win the group, qualify for the next round by finishing second, or fail to advance altogether. Who knew!? Before we get to the match preview itself, here’s a quick reminder of the possible scenarios we’re dealing with: Yanks lose – The nil-nil result between the Desert Foxes and the Three Lions was the… Read more
It’s not as wide open as we thought it might be going into Tuesday’s final matches, but no team has guaranteed themselves qualification or elimination just yet. Essentially Mexico and Uruguay, both on four points after great wins, will be battling for group supremacy, but will they play for a draw? Meanwhile, France and South Africa will try and hammer each other to improve their goal differential and qualify for second place in Group A, always… Read more
Once again the Yanks are looking at a mismatch with regard to quality, but this time the scales are tipped towards the Americans. Slovenia is a plucky and well organized team who approaches each game with organization and determination. What they lack in individual quality they make up for in heart. You can see where the comparisons to former friendly opponent Turkey come into play. You can probably also see some similarities to the way the USMNT was… Read more
One point all around for the teams in Group A, and Wednesday kicks off a second set of compelling matches for the host country and guests. This group is still wide open obviously, and something tells me we’re going to see more than two total goals scored in this set of fixtures. So before we dig in for Uruguay v. South Africa and Mexico v. France, let’s look back at matchday one. Looking Back The South African goal was probably the most… Read more
Number 2: Cristiano Ronaldo Country: Portugal Position: Midfielder/Wing Forward Club Team: Real Madrid American-Based Professional Sport “Soulmate”: Alex Rodriguez, 3B, New York Yankees He may only be our number two player to watch at the World Cup, but Portugal’s most important man is without a doubt the most widely hated footballer on earth. How hated is C-Ron within the walls of The Yanks Are Coming home offices? Suffice it to… Read more
This feels weird. It’s been so long since I’ve written a match preview for a game that didn’t have the term “friendly” attached to it. I now get to scrap position battle analysis and confidence building run outs in favor of a match where the actual result is the only thing that matters?! Hallelujah! The match in The World Cup is finally here, so I decided to scrap my old match preview writing method in which I got drunk and roll around in the ripped… Read more
The South Africa, Mexico, France, Uruguay group may not be the group of death, but it’s not far off, and it’s just about as wide open as any World Cup group could ever be. The unpredictable South Africans, riding a wave of national and continental pride while trying to avoid being the first ever host nation not the qualify. The skilled and speedy Mexicans, running riot of late, creating enough offensive chances to make the doubters shut up about the… Read more
Number 7: Carlos Tévez Position: Forward Country: Argentina Club Team: Manchester City American Based Professional Athlete “Soulmate”: Alexander Ovechkin, LW, Washington Capitals What can I say about Carlos Tévez besides the fact that he’s our number seven player to watch at the upcoming World Cup? I suppose we should get the full disclosure part of this post out of the way right here. I love Carlos Tévez, he’s my dawg. Not in a… Read more
As you’ve probably gathered at this point, we here at The Yanks Are Coming are a bunch of jovial fellows (that means happy/drunk dudes, Raf) who enjoy activities like hanging out and having a good time, specific I know. We love our readers, yes even YOU, and would love to buy you all beers anytime we have the good fortune to hang out with you Yanks and Yankettes. Well, more appropriately, we’d love if you our readers all bought us beers given the chance…… Read more
