August 2010

Contest Entries: Liverpool FC

Today, two of The Yanks Are Coming’s longtime readers serve up reasons Dan should pick Liverpool as his English Premier League team. The red team, from Merseyside is the third of the big four represented in the contest, and although they are in turmoil, their rich history is surely worth strong consideration. Blessed with one of the finest players in the world in Steven Gerrard, they are also the favorite club of Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr– so, while they aren’t exactly the People’s Club in Merseyside– that’s pretty cool stuff.

The first entry today comes from longtime reader Eighmee, who has decided that the easiest way to win this contest is make physical guarantees to Dan in writing. I’m not certain this will work but hey, I can’t say it is a bad idea. Here is Eighmee’s entry:

There are very few reasons why one should choose Liverpool. People don’t follow Liverpool FC because they win things, hell Liverpool hasn’t won anything since 2006 BUT we have a rich history. We technically have a 2010 World Cup player…ahem Fernando Torres, he didn’t do anything to win the World Cup, but he was there and thats more than you or I can say about it. Also LFC fans are hotter,  they’ve got better WAGS, and if you pick Liverpool–Dan..I promise one day I’ll show you my boobs.

The second entry comes from Melissa Wiley. Wiley, who like Dan is an alum of the University of Maryland, is a fan of MLS side DC United when she’s not pulling for the red club in Merseyside. When she isn’t cheering on Liverpool or declaring eternal love to Fernando Torres; she spends time spoiling True Blood for folks on Twitter who watch it on DVR or she plots what to write for her hysterical column, which appears weekly for All Things Footy. In all seriousness, she’s a great deal of fun and her “be a man, Dan” entry is pretty exciting.

Here is Melissa’s entry:

Based on Tweets and previous interactions with Dan Seco, there’s no fucking way in hell he will choose to support the same club I support. Even if I laid out the most perfect, irrefutable argument it would never happen. He spent the entire World Cup slamming my favorite player and is a total meanie head about the EPL club of my heart on Twitter all the time. Sometimes, it hurts my feelings. Like, a lot. Because of this I feel free to speak my mind and give him the same advice I gave others who asked people to pick their team for them. Dan Seco- pick your own goddamn team! Like me, you went to the fine academic institution that is The University of Maryland at College Park. Your affiliation with UMD also proves you are already partial to the color red and should be violently vomiting at the thought of any blue team . Yes, you cheapened your fine ACC education a smidge by attending grad school at The University of Florida, but, hey, no one’s perfect (neither is my club, so you two are kind of meant to be together in that way). As an American Studies major, I know you learned critical thinking skills and how to do research. As a journalism grad student, you learned how to ferret out the facts and make informed decisions. So take those wonderful life skills and put them to good use. Dan Seco, you are 23 years old and it’s time to put on your big boy pants and think for yourself.  Having said all that, Terps should have each other’s backs, so Liverpool is obviously the team you should choose to support. And not that you need it, but they’ll give you a legitimate excuse to get drunk.

Neil W. Blackmon

  • Melissa

    Neil- i spoiled True Blood for you ONE TIME and it wasnt even that big of a spoiler. Time to move on 🙂

  • Neil W. Blackmon

    bwhahahahhahahaaha !!! never !!

  • Dan Seco

    How did Melissa know all that about me? Weird.

    Free boobs? Nice, but fuck Liverpool.

  • Melissa

    Dan- I know that because you told me. Were you drunk?? wait, that’s a dumb question.