Don’t call it a comeback. No really, don’t call it a comeback. July 9th through the first week of August does count as a nice little post-World Cup TYAC vacation though. So what have I been up to in the meantime aside from meticulously monitoring the lazy journalism and conjecture that comprises the coverage of soccer’s offseason transfer market? Well…
Week 1: It was time to finally relocate The Yanks Are Coming home office, but fear not loyal reader, this move was an overdue sign of expansion and prosperity! We’ve moved the operation from a comfortable but hygienically provocative 40 year-old building, to a massive plot stretching eleven blocks from NW 8th to NW 19th street. Gainesville authorities are describing the new office as a military industrial complex, we just call it home.
Week 2: There was still plenty of work to be done around the new home offices, but it wasn’t taking up every minute of my days anymore… so that’s time to write a post right? Wrong! Moving is hard! If you take a vacation and use that time to move, you deserve another vacation. So that’s exactly how that shit went down. I spent the week looking for a golden ticket like that dorky English kid in the creepiest Gene Wilder movie of all time. Result: After an immense amount of “searching,” I still haven’t found a ticket into the Canadian Hunter Whiskey distillery.
Week 3: The Holdout. At first it was for more money. Then when it became evident that wasn’t happening, I tried strong-arming my way into some TYAC medical or dental coverage. Then I sobered up and realized I was holding out against myself, not a smart move.
So here I am, ready to write, after a grueling couple days during which Yanks’ Pop Culture Guru Puck has been playing the role of Redskins skipper Mike Shanahan and putting me through daily conditioning tests which I had up to this point failed.
Things are looking a bit different in the way of site content right now; I mean we’ve got a poem glorifying Chelski F.C. a few posts back… on The Yanks Are Coming! Additionally, we’re urging you to join in our Fantasy Premier League fun?! Has your favorite American soccer blog gone all Anglophile on you? Fish? Chips? Cup-o-Tea? Bad food? Worse weather? No way, but a little pushback is always warranted. Go ahead. Oh, you were finished? Well, allow me to retort.
We are a United States Men’s National Team blog and always will be. We’ve got great content on the way previewing/covering the Brazil match of course, and continuing to break down the Yanks, position-by-position, with regard to their performances in this World Cup cycle. We’re continuing to track U.S. players from the MLS, to Belgium, Scandinavia, and beyond. But in the international soccer wasteland of the year following a World Cup, we still strive to bring you steaming hot TYAC on a regular basis. We’ll never let you down on the USMNT front, but as a supplement, riding along with the English Premier League makes perfect sense. Not only is the EPL the best domestic league in the world (check the weak bottom half of your table Barca or Real fan); it is also the home of the best American players and the most relevant red, white, and blue storylines. With Lando likely to make more Premier League fullbacks bite the dust after this transfer window or the next, you’re looking at all the top U.S. performers from this past World Cup plying their trade in soggy old England. Michael Bradley is the lone exception, and I’d put money on Junior/Bald Bull/MB90 donning an EPL shirt within the next two years.
I’m not going soft on the Brits though… except for my boy Scott Parker. I’ll always proudly give ‘em a nice big “up yours” with my TYAC God Save the Queen inspired tee shirt, but I did come to some realizations after lifting my World Cup English music ban.
#1 – Iron Maiden rules. This was not a new realization. Newly long-haired Scott Parker and I are gonna hang out, head bang to Maiden, throw back a few beers (around 15 apiece), and talk about how awesome it’s gonna be when West Ham upsets Chelski and Sp*rs in the coming month or two! We may let Thomas “Der Hammer” Hitzlsperger join us; Germans tend to love metal.
#2 – A couple of English acts doing their best impressions of distinctly American music brought me to another conclusion. English players, managers, and fans used to look at American soccer like we looked at The Streets. (Check the video ya’ll!) You remember that English rapper you probably threw on in your dorm or apartment or mom’s house when you were baked at some point in the early 2000’s? And then remember when you tried to listen to it sober you kind of laughed a little bit and turned the CD into a coaster? That’s what U.S. Soccer used to be to the English, a bunch of wankers doing a poor job of emulating something they created. But we’re not The Streets anymore. No way Jose Francisco Torres! Now we’re Bush. The English band that had the cojones to sack up and play good old American grunge rock. Gavin Rossdale, Nigel What’s-His-Face, and the rest of the merry band of Sixteen Stoners weren’t any red-blooded American’s favorite band, but with their heavily guitared distortion and non sequitur lyrics, goddamn were they respectable. Bush rocked hard from time to time, and after the Yanks drew the English in the World Cup, won their group, and provided their league with some most excellent players, English football is forced to respect U.S. Soccer, and to acknowledge that like Bush, we rock hard from time to time too.
In soccer, as in music, and in life, sometimes you’ve got to go to an unfamiliar place and prove your mettle to the fence-sitters and naysayers. Sometimes the likes of Guns n’ Roses or Metallica has to take the stage at Castle Donington after local legends Judas Priest and proceed to melt the faces of the unsuspecting Brits in the crowd. Here’s to Timmy, Deuce, and the rest of the Premier League Yanks busting out wailing solos at some of the most storied grounds against some of the most famous opposition this year. It’s going to be a great season.
Jon Levy is a senior writer and co-founder of The Yanks Are Coming. He’s returned from sabbatical and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also follow him on Twitter @TYAC_Jon.