Puck's Friday Happy Hour: Clint Mathis, Brazil Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to yet another wonderful Friday in the Happy Hour. I must say that the academic research paper contest

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entries have been very good thus far, but we would love for you to continue “Bringing The Funk”. The more entries we receive really give our fearless leader and occasional editor, Dan Seco, a flavor of the squads he can choose from in the EPL.

While I am on the subject, I have nothing against argument for the big four sides, as long as you come correct with your take. Please avoid the weak sauce entries from the big four sides, especially if you are going to write a poem. The last time I checked, Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost don’t write for TYAC, so you won’t impress me with your skills in iambic pentameter. Of course this whole discussion is moot if you write a haiku that focuses on Busty Asians and PBR.

In true Happy Hour fashion, this piece is going to be all over the map. I am that guy that gets hammered at your traditional Friday gathering that floats from conversation to conversation saying just about whatever the fuck I feel like at the time. This has clearly put me in some sticky situations occasionally, but the good far outweighs the bad. Let’s begin shall we?

The USMNT roster for the Brazil Friendly has been set.

After examining the roster, it appears we will be bringing a very competitive squad to New Meadowlands. Fourteen of the eighteen players that will suit up for the match were on the final squad that made the trip to South Africa. Players left of the roster included Clint, Gooch, Torres (toe injury) and Abercorombie model and sometimes midfielder Stu Holden. Altidore was left off but was added this morning with Jermaine Jones fighting his fifteen round bout with fitness in Schalke. Seriously, Jermaine? Shouldn’t you just listen to Apollo: “Ain’t gonna be no rematch.” You aren’t winning.

These omissions did not surprise me, but two others certainly did. Both Beasley and Demerit are not going to be suiting up next week. Both these members of the World Cup squad are currently homeless on the club soccer scene. As these two players may be extremely helpful to the USMNT during the qualifying campaign for Brazil in 2014, why is Bradley not using this game as an attempt to showcase their talents? It seems to me that it is in our best interest to help these two dudes who have worked incredibly hard for the USMNT for a complete cycle (even longer is Beasley’s case), find a new club in order to stay fit for qualifying. While I understand the argument that we are beginning a new cycle and need to start adding some young blood to the squad, the World Cup just ended a month ago. The grind of a new cycle does not really begin for close to a year from now. We should not be jumping the gun.

On the opposite side of the coin, there is one new addition to the roster that I was very

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excited to see in a USMNT shirt, Jermaine Jones. Jones moved from the German Federation to the USMNT early last year in hopes of playing in South Africa. This news excited most of us here at TYAC as we viewed him as a possible central midfield partner with MB90. However, a series of nagging knee injuries kept Jones off the pitch and off the final roster. At 28, if he still has an outside shot of claiming a roster spot on the hopefully dominate 2014 midfield; this match against Brazil would have been the first of many challenges. Oh well. “Aint’ gonna be no rematch.”

Clint Mathis is hanging up his boots.

That’s right; the above statement is not a typo. The Cult hero and Mohawk legend has decided it is time to retire from the game he loves. His last match will be this Saturday in the Rose Bowl, a fitting end to a colorful career. Mathis scored 12 goals in 46 international appearances for the USMNT, none greater than his finish against South Korea in the 2002 World Cup. Clint kicks way too much ass to pull a Brett Favre and have some chick from the four letter network sit on his lawn and update the world every time he takes a shit. I raise a PBR to you Clint. In the words of Neil Young, “Long may you run.”

The Atlanta Braves are retiring Tom Glavine’s jersey this weekend.

I know this is not a baseball blog, but I would be remiss if I did not mention this. If you are a fan of sports in general, you have to know who Glavine is. He ended his career with over 300 wins, 10 All star appearances, 2 Cy Young Awards, 4 Silver Sluggers, and one World Series in 1995 of which he was named MVP. No doubt a hall of famer. It is a shame that the Braves only managed to win one championship during his tenure. Not only did Glavine dominate the mound, he is a huge USMNT fan. I also raise a PBR to you this weekend Tom, hopefully you’re a fan of “the greatest blog of our time.”

Those are basically my thoughts for the week. I am glad to see “Lighting Cup” Levy finally decided to get off his ass and pass my conditioning test and write something. Remember readers, I will never leave you.

It’s Friday, so it’s time for PUCKS FREE ADVICE. I have give a shout out to former “roomie” Nicole for bringing this video in my life. Do yourself a favor and watch this video and laugh your ass off. There is something just hilarious about the projects and auto-tune together.

Bed Intruder Song

Its’ time to head over to Shaboom’s in order to celebrate the marvelous careers of Glavine and Mathis with the vigor they deserve. Hopefully I run into some chick that wants a mustache ride.

Sorry for partying bitches.

Puck is the pop culture guru for The Yanks Are Coming. He can be reached at puck@yanksarecoming.com and at some point will figure out how to use Twitter.

Filed Under: August 2010

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  • Nicole

    thanks rooms. it also helps if you watch the actual news report first. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJVwfJs8Eqo

  • Neil W. Blackmon

    I love the OG news report !!! Rock and Roll NKF, Rock and Roll !!

  • Jon

    not a Braves fan, but I love glavine, he was always my favorite of Atlanta’s “big 3”
    also, i saw him pitch in one of the first baseball games i ever attended at fulton county stadium, he was a rookie.. also saw him pinch hit the next year, silver slugger indeed (but no he did not get a hit in that crucial AB… silly bobby cox pinch hitting a pitcher, You’re outta here!).

    and on the jermaine jones front, I wrote this on March 25th
    “Oh, and for all you asking it in your heads or out loud right now, NO, we will never ever see Jermaine Jones play in a U.S. shirt. See, now if it ever happens you’ll feel like a kid on Christmas morning until he commits his first turnover.”

    No X-Mas morning next week kids

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