they are, like to think that most USMNT fans are overeducated suburbanites with names like Carrington. While this may be true, and I don’t think it is, there is also an extremely large contingent of USMNT fans that like to drink beers and kick ass before and during matches. Think Brian McBride, except with beer. This segment of fans is a huge driving force behind the growth of soccer in the US, and should not be ignored. The suits of the world want this group of fans, which includes folks like myself and other TYAC writers, to sound more like an Orbitz commercial and less like we currently do. While I don’t plan on making any changes in my personal life, as a website, we will be cleaning up our act…a little. Instead of using the traditional words that some seem to have a problem with, we will be using a new system of coded words that will be
explained below. Let’s get started shall we? Before I make the suits in Chicago for a certain federation happy, let’s clear one final thing up. The following colorful phrases are still in play: Piss, Ass, Damn, and God Damn. These will continue to appear on the site whenever we feel like using them. Moving on. Below is the new Yanks Are Coming Dictionary. Asshole = Jackleg Luckily this was an easy transition. We have been using this phrase here since the beginning. Quick example, “Look at that asshole diving in the box” makes the smooth transition to “Look at that jackleg diving in the box.” Shit = Poop Again it’s easy. “Everybody shits” turns into the classic children’s book “Everybody Poops.” Tits = Hammers or The Pouncey Twins Ok, I know this list is a bit juvenile, but come on, you’re still reading at this point, so I guess I should continue. As TYAC was founded by members of the Gator Nation, we had to give a shout out to our boys. “Man, I really hope April and her Pouncey Twins make it to happy hour.” Pussy = Cristiano Ronaldo AKA C-Ron I don’t think there is single writer on the TYAC staff that does not respect Ronaldo’s talent. He can do things with the ball that most players only dream of. At the same time, we all think the dramatic flopping after a strong gust of wind is just too much. As such, he earns the distinction of this code word. “Shut up and take that shot. Stop acting like such a C-Ron.” Cunt = Rooney For this code word, we had to give it to one of the most hated players amongst the TYAC staff. At the same time, it had to be someone British, because they toss this word around like me and the boys toss around jackleg. I do have to mention that English Reporter Simon Bird came very close to receiving this honor. For those of you not familiar with the story, Bird wrote a very unflattering story about Newcastle for his paper The Mirror. When former Newcastle Manager Joe Kinnear read the article, he walked into his next press conference, and asked “Who is Simon Bird?” After a response, Kinnear responded, “You’re a cunt, just wanted to tell you to your face.” Absolute Gold. Listen to the whole exchange here. “What a miserable Rooney.” Fuck = Rossi This needs no explanation. Actually, it does. That will be below. Mother Fucker = Giuseppe Rossi This was pretty simple. No one has created a more visceral reaction amongst USMNT fans than the American Born Rossi. Turning his back on the country of his birth, Rossi is a rising star for the Italian National Team, and currently has racked up 15 goals in La Liga. Each time I see one of his highlights for club or country, I can’t stop myself from thinking, “Why the fuck couldn’t he be playing for us?” When he scored against the USMNT in the 2009 Confederations Cup the crew here in Gainesville nearly lost it. Hopefully, the new Dictionary will keep you up to date, while also making the site more, “family friendly” as they say. It’s Friday, so I can’t forget PUCK’s FREE ADVICE: I know I hinted at this last week, but the Final Rounds of the Masters will be played this weekend. If you have any interest in golf, or just want to root against Tiger Woods, grab your favorite cocktail and settle in. It should be one hell of a finish. I don’t recommend driving while intoxicated—you might hit a fire hydrant, particularly if you piss off your old lady and she comes after you with a nine iron…too soon? Sorry for partying….Giuseppe Rossi. Puck is the Pop Culture Guy For The Yanks Are Coming. He can be reached at email@example.com and you can follow him and his rantings on Twitter at @PuckLovesPBR.