Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back into the Happy Hour. What a week it has been for soccer fans across the country. If you are one of the seven people left in the US not paying attention to the Women’s World Cup, there is still plenty of room left on the bandwagon; jump on already! After a tough luck loss to Sweden, the USWNT has been rolling on all cylinders. Writers much better than I have chronicled the miraculous comeback victory over Brazil as well as the 3-1 defeat of a talented French side. As a native of Western New York I cannot fully express how proud the hometown crew is of Abby Wambach. No offense to the rest of the USWNT, who have captivated the entire nation in their own right, but Wambach has rose to the occasion when the team needed her the most. The rest of the planet has finally figured out what Rochester, New York does best: Garbage plates, and clutch goals.
Last week, I tried to give those of you not all that connected to the USWNT a few reasons to watch. If you tuned into the Brazil match, Alex Morgan, Hope Solo, Megan Rapinoe and the rest of the squad likely turned you into diehard fans for the remainder of the competition if not the remainder of your lives. After a qualifying campaign of ups, downs, injuries, and hard fought games, the USWNT is finally playing for all the marbles. Americans from coast to coast, soccer fans or not, will be crowding in front of television sets across the country to see if this new group of national icons can finish the job against a very good Japanese side. This particular group of USWNT players have lived in the shadow of the World Champion 1999 team for too long, and Sunday, it is time for them to step out of the shadows of these legends and create– bolster, really– their own legacy. This Sunday, coverage starts at 2:00pm on the four letter network.
Now, for long time readers of TYAC, you know what is coming. In my opinion, there is nothing better than taking in a great sporting match while sipping one (or seven) of your favorite adult beverages. If you don’t drink– that’s fine too– use root beer or a soda you like. But I enjoy the adult bevs. Much like Varsity Blues explained 12 years ago, “Tweeder drank beers, because, well, Tweeder drinks beers”, Puck invents drinking games, well…because Puck invents drinking games. By now, many of you have seen the format, but for the sake of the newbie’s, I will review. Basically, the game has three levels, with three different drinking activities associated with it. If you follow the rules properly, I recommend that you do not operate a motor vehicle under any circumstance for at least 6 hours. That said, I want to introduce you all the Women’s World Cup Final Drinking Game.
Level 1: I have to give a huge shout out to longtime TYAC reader and USWNT super-fan Amy Sanders for her inspiration for level one of the game. Since the dramatic USWNT comeback versus Brazil– sportscasters, bloggers, commentators, and even the annoying guy at the water cooler have used every cliché possible to describe the team’s performance, as well as their character. With that in mind: any time during the pregame, match, or postgame you should be on the lookout for a long list of words. If any of the following words are used by an ESPN anchor or commentary in reference to an individual USWNT player, or the entire team, take a swig of your favorite cocktail;
Strength, resolve, “don’t quit attitude”, fight, determination, grit,
belief, trust, teamwork, confidence, swagger.
There are many more, but eleven should certainly do the trick.
Also during Level 1, we can’t forget about the Japanese. Any time ESPN anchors make reference to the huge upset of the Germans’ take a drink. At the same time, if the announcers bring up the traumatic earthquake and resulting tsunami, pour one out for your homies.
Remember, don’t try and drive a car folks, that’s what cabs are for.
Level 2: The second round the game is also very simple. These events are likely to happen, just less frequently than Level 1. If any of the following takes place drink you beer for roughly 3-5 sections.
1) Any yellow card.
2) The Camera moves to a close up of any USWNT fan decked out in the Red, White, and Blue. Hopefully it will be the same group of shirtless, chest painted dudes I have seen at every USWNT game during the
tournament. That is certainly a group of gentlemen that came to Germany to party.
3) Hope Solo makes a save.
4) Abby Wambach draws a foul.
Level 3: The third and final round deals with the dramatic aspects that may happen during the match. If any of these happens during the game immediately finish your drink, regardless of what is left, or take a shot of your favorite booze.
1) Red Card. Hopefully this involves a Japanese player, but it applies for anyone on the pitch. If the USWNT goes down a man, you will certainly need a drink.
2) The next big think in USWNT Soccer, Alex Morgan enters the match. (If she is in the starting lineup, just shoot that drink down immediately)
3) My Girl Abby Wambach continues to be a beast in the air, and gets her fourth goal of the tournament, off her head.
4) Any US defender scores a goal. This has not happened yet in the knockout stages, and I am feeling a breakthrough.
I can’t wait to get started.
PUCK’S FREE ADVICE:
Free Advice, really? You want Free Advice this week? The US in playing in a World Cup Final and you are still looking Free Advice? Get your act together and watch the game. That’s not Free Advice, it’s an order.
Lady Yanks, take down the Japanese. The whole country is behind you!
This weekend, I am not sorry for partying…so you better feel me flow!
Puck is the Pop Culture Guy For The Yanks Are Coming. He can be reached at email@example.com and you can follow him on Twitter at @PuckLovesPBR. For those of you newer to the site, he writes weekly for TYAC, hails from Rochester, NY, enjoys long walks on the beach, romantic baseball movies like Major League and Bull Durham, Man City football, the New York Yankees and the Buffalo Bills, and has a mildly sweet affection for a certain bartender at a certain midtown Gainesville, FL saloon.