Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back into the Happy Hour. I know you are all extremely angry about the US loss last night. Or maybe you aren’t angry at all that Jurgen managed to lose on home soil to a CONCACAF foe in his second match—a feat that it took Bob three years to figure out how to do. Or maybe you aren’t mad that the US didn’t score because it’s “an adjustment period” and “hey, the formation looked nice.” Or maybe, a bit like us at TYAC, you are mostly mad about the loss because it means that those two guys you knew who said “this is the wrong hire” after reading one article on the four letter (this, of course, after calling for Klinsy to get the gig for three years) are now going to say “I told you so” at least until the United States does something strange like win a match on European soil next week. Either way, losing 1-0 to Costa Rica might have some of you down in the dumps. So how about a Happy Hour? Let’s get started, shall we?
It has been one hell of a week down here in GainesVegas (Gainesville FL). The Semi-Pro (College) football season kicked off the last two evening with a couple games from meaningless teams. The folks down here in Gator country are more than ready to get the football season started.
While on the subject of American Football, some LSU players appear hell bent on proving that just about anyone can play a little footy. Just ask starting Tigers QB …errr…punter Jordan Jefferson about his footy skills. I know the transfer window is closed, but I am shocked nobody made a move for this guy. A mid table club team could have certainly used his powerful free kick ability. With clearly no NFL prospects, I say Jefferson has a future in the beautiful game. With college football kicking off in full swing today, one more USMNT match close at hand, and Gator Football tailgate preparations to make, I want to hit you with a few random thoughts for the week, soccer or otherwise.
Another summer has come and gone, and with it ends another transfer window. Consistently filled with big names moves, and even bigger rumors, the transfer window never fails to disappoint. While the big time moves of Cesc Fabregas and alike have been covered elsewhere, we here at TYAC clearly have our eye on where your favorite USMNT players landed. First and foremost, MB90 finally found a place to play 90. While heading to Chievo Verona is not exactly “taking your talents to South Beach”, there are many worse places that MB90 could have ended up. He is currently the only American born player in the Serie A. Some may say this is not the optimal move for Junior, and those people are just wrong. MB90 has been, and will always be more suited for Italy than Germany. Regular playing time in a top tier league is just what the doctor ordered- and if you look at the Chiveo depth chart, it isn’t as if he won’t get the time if his attitude is right. The lengthy time he spent looking for a club should sober his attitude up a bit.
And let’s be clear: the US needs Michael to succeed if it is to succeed under Klinsmann. That’s a fact.
The next transfer news is one that did not take place. Earlier in the week Goal.com reported that Arsenal, looking to replenish its devastated midfield, were serious players to lure Clint Dempsey away from Fulham. While this transfer did not actually materialize, it proves that Dempsey has caught the eye of top level managers and should be recognized as the top class talent he is. In the end, Wenger opted for Everton’s best little Spaniard instead (not the better player anymore, if we compare the two, in my opinion) and David Moyes was forced to sell Mikel Arteta to the Gunners, as Everton have barely enough cash on hand for a gas station hotdog.
Clint Dempsey Scoring Record
Speaking of old “Onion Rings”, our first class research and statistics staff, (code for me, a calculator, and an inclination for procrastination) have stumbled up some very interesting data. Since joining Fulham, Dempsey has managed to tally 38 goals in all competitions (Prem, Carling Cup, Europa, etc) for the club. At this point, the Texan is only 10 tallies behind another great American for the all time lead in goals scored by an American in European competition. Who is the all time leader? None other than arguably the greatest American forward ever, Brian McBride. During his tenure in Europe, McBride scored 48 goals with the like of Preston North End, Wolfsburg, Everton, and of course Fulham. Fans were so pleased with McBride’s play they even named a pub after him inside the ground.
It is hard to imagine that Clint may catch and pass McBride this year considering all the time McBride spent playing at Fulham. Some people may think that this is a very trivial stat, and maybe it is, but I think it points to an obvious truth than many USMNT fans have missed. Clint Dempsey is, and has been for some time, the best player the USMNT has. Yes, I understand that Landon Donovan may be the most important to the USMNTs success on the pitch, but being the most important player is not the same thing as being the best player. On sheer technique and ability Dempsey is a better player, end of story. It is time all USMNT fans start to show my boy the respect he deserves.
LUVS Diaper Commercial
The other evening, my new roommate K-Dub and I were sitting around crushing a few PBRs and watching some TV. Out of nowhere, this crazy commercial comes on. Not having worn a diaper since I was potty trained; I did not realize the “blowout protection” was a serious problem. The commercial is essentially the Coney Island Hot Dog eating contest, but replacing the hot dogs for gigantic baby dumps. Apparently these LUVS diapers have the blowout protection to handle a grown man on nothing but a four day diet of bratwursts and beer. I understand it is a cartoon, but it is still not acceptable.
USMNT vs. Costa Rica
Last night your friendly neighborhood German took the USMNT out for their second match in his tenure, against familiar CONCACAF foe Costa Rica in Carson, California. Very preliminary thoughts were written above, but let’s dive just a bit deeper. While the squad did not include all of the big names that we fans were hoping to see I was very pleased with the squad Klinsy brought to camp. With Dempsey missing this friendly, it was interesting to see how the USMNT lined up with the starting 11. It was more or less a very similar group to the ones that played Mexico (identical in the back with the exception of the talismanic Tim Chandler) and it was another run-out for Jose Torres, who Klinsmann seems determined to make a critical cog in the US side for the time being. The US certainly had the better of the play for an hour, and had they taken their chances, we might not all feel disappointed this morning, but in the end they did not and the result is what it is. “It’s a process” as Klinsmann likes to say and as Jeff Carlisle pointed out this morning, and both are right. But let’s hope that process stops including Edgar Castillo soon, and let’s hope Michael Orozco-Fiscal is only part of that process when opposing sides field forwards that aren’t physically a huge mismatch. And perhaps most critically, let’s hope Landon never misses a sitter like the one last night again.
At the same time, MLS MVP candidate Break “Flock of Sheagulls” was given the chance for a long run of minutes with the senior team. His energy was tremendous, and Jozy Altidore did, for large swaths, look every bit the player who has suddenly found confidence. So there are bright spots. But a loss is a loss, and a result against a good Belgium team led by Man City’s Kompany man would be a great start.
Dance for me HOPE
If you married drones were running out of reasons to sit at home and watch terrible network TV, I am here to help. Smokeshow, international talent, America’s sweetheart, and my future wife Hope Solo has been confirmed as a cast member for the next season of dancing with the Stars. I can’t wait to have her dominate the competition in every possible way. The only real question is if we are going to see that intense focus face of hers before each dance routine. Let’s also hope that fellow contestant Ron Artest does not jump into the stands during filming.
PUCK’S FREE ADVICE:
This is less free advice and more of a rant. At any larger University, the fall semester begin with freshman and returning undergraduates flocking to campus. These young bucks are clearly looking to get the most out of their college experience. Going to campus gym with a large group of friends quickly becomes the “cool” thing to do. For the first two weeks of school, the gym is packed with jacklegs that have no idea how to use the equipment, and just get in the way of the loyal gym regulars. For the love of God, stop faking it. You and I both know that 99% of your crowd will not be back to the gym until 10 days before Spring Break in the first place, so just get the hell out. Furthermore, if you are able to talk on your cell phone while on the treadmill or elliptical, you are NOT working out. Get off the machine and let people who are looking to work up a sweet use it. You are simply not fooling anyone.
Gator football kickoff is only hours away, it truly is “The most wonderful time of the year.”
Get your afternoon started with one of the most underrated 90’s Jams of all time. ”Feel the vibe from here to Asia”
Sorry for Partying.
Puck is the Pop Culture Guy For The Yanks Are Coming. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and you can follow him on Twitter at @PuckLovesPBR.