As tough as last week was for our American heroes, this week was nearly all treats. Yes, that was a way lame Halloween joke (someday my teenage daughter is going to be sooooo embarrassed). I hope you had a great time at that Halloween party you went to, I kicked it as the Undertaker (with Paul Bearer Accompaniment), and yes, that IS a photo below.
Aston Villa v. Burnley 10/27/10
Friedel recorded 6 saves in the 2-1 Carling Cup victory at Villa Park. Brad Guzan, who believed he would play in this match, has nothing but praise for his elders. It is becoming clear to me that Guzan may have to make a move to another club if he ever plans on seeing the pitch, because the Brett Farve of Villa Park isn’t going anywhere soon.
Villarreal @ Poli Ejido 10/27/10
Jozy found the back of the net in the 44th minute, which was good enough for a 1-1 draw in the Copa del Rey (The King’s Cup). Not familiar with the Copa del Rey? Well, the full name of the competition is Campeonato de España- Copa de Su Majestad El Rey Don Juan Carlos I, which translates to Championship of Spain – His Majesty King Juan Carlos I’s Cup. King Juan Carlos I is the current King of Spain, and it’s good to be King (and having the premier sporting event in the county bear your name).
Borussia M’gladbach v. Bayer Leverkusen 10/27/10
MB120 played the whole damn match that went to penalty shootout where M’gladbach, wait for it….actually won a game, albeit on penalty kicks (5-4) in the German FA Cup. I’ll be honest with you, because quite frankly if you’re reading this we must be friends, I can’t find shit on the interwebs about this game. I do know that Bradley scored the winning penalty, as I reported last week. Either way, let’s just be happy that MB90 and crew found a way to win, because that has been a rarity.
Everton v. Stoke 10/30/10
Timmy H recorded his 4th clean sheet in his last 5 matches and Everton picked up a 1-0 win. The eternally optimistic Howard is hoping that Yakubu, the lone goal scorer in this match, will find his form after getting off the schneid.
Fulham v. Wigan 10/30/10
Deuce got loose, netting a pair of goals which was good for a 2-0 victory at the Cottage (here are Deuce’s goals in black and white set to Ricky Ross’ Aston Martin Music, because I guess why not?) Dempsey got the start at forward and proved that he can thrive in that role…check it Bobbo McSweatpants. Eddie Johnson did not participate. We can’t confirm or deny that this is because he has the worst first touch in the history of the world.
Rangers v. Caley Thistle 10/30/10
Mo Edu scored another goal in the 11th minute, however ICT managed an 81st minute equalizer. Unfortunately I can’t find video of this goal (why does BBC make some video only available to UK users?), but I assume it was awesome. I’m actually going to rant for a second…why is it so damn difficult to find highlights? Why would you not want to grow your brand? The NFL puts replays up on its site almost instantaneously, why would the EPL, SPL, La Liga, etc. not create their own sites that model NFL.com? Does this make sense to anyone? Ok, I’ll just have a little more bourbon while I finish.
Borussia M’gladbach @ Kaiserslauter 10/30/10
MB90, evidently no worse for the wear went the full 90 minutes just 3 days after playing all 120. However, his conditioning was no match for his team’s overall shittyness. After the 3-0 loss, M’gladbach sit in a tie at the bottom of the Bundesliga (with Jermaine Jones‘, who was not in the 18 this weekend, Schalke 04). Below is my Halloween costume.
Aston Villa v. Birmingham 10/31/10
In his second start of the week, Friedel made 4 saves for the clean sheet in a 0-0 draw. I used up all my good Friedel and Guzan material above, so you can reread that if you’re dying to hear more about the Brads.
Villarreal @ Sporting Gijon 10/31/10
Altidore entered in the 71st minute in the 1-1 tie, with Villarreal’s equalizer coming on a 90th minute PK by fellow faux-American Guiseppe Rossi. The Benedict Arnold of the pitch assured that Villarreal maintained their 3 point deficit in La Liga.
Bolton v. Liverpool 10/31/10
Stu Holden went all 90 in the heartbreaking 1-0 loss on an 86th minute goal from Liverpool, who suck. Holden put a shot on goal, but he was unable to bury it. The Mirror Football blog takes a look at why Holden has become such a steady fixture in the Bolton 11, and I must say that I agree with his words. It is nice to see a player truly adapt to his surroundings and become serious factor on an EPL side.
Hannover @ TSG Hoffenheim 10/31/10
Steve Cherundolo went all 90 and DaMarcus Beasley finally found his way off the pine for the final 13 minutes. Despite the efforts of the Americans, Hannover took a 4-0 shellacking after going a man down only 18 minutes into the match.
Anderlecht @ Racing Genk 10/31/10
Sacha Kljestan scored a 9th minute goal as Anderlecht pulled out a 2-1 road victory. That makes quite a few goals for Americans abroad this week, which begs the question…Where the hell has that been? Kljestan’s teammate, Romelu Lukaku, scored the winning goal in the match and is being considered by some as the next Drogba…lofty expectations for a 17 year old. Keep an eye on that kid.
Rangers @ Valencia 11/2/10
Edu played the first 84 minutes in the disappointing 3-0 Champion’s League defeat. Edu was somewhat questionable for this match after an apparent calf injury after scoring earlier in the week, but he powered through. Tough loss for Edu and the ‘Gers.
Other American Stalwarts
Spector needs an A.P.B. put out to determine his whereabouts.
Word on the street is Oguchi Onyewu still plays for AC Milan, but I’m having a hard time believing it.
Ricardo Clark saw about 1 minute of action for Frankfurt over the week.
The last few days have been great for Americans abroad, hopefully it will continue into the winter months. I’m looking for Deuce to get some additional time up front after the two goal performance, and maybe even Jozy will see some more minutes.
Dru Boyer is a staff writer for The Yanks Are Coming. He can be reached at email@example.com or better yet, you can follow him on Twitter at @SwampJankins.